00:00:05: Welcome back to a brand new episode of Artsy Fartsy Immigrants.

00:00:09: This is a part two of two.

00:00:11: So if you have not heard part one of two, well, you better go ahead and pause this and take a listen to the other one, because here we go.

00:00:19: All right, guys, welcome back to Artsy Fartsy Immigrants.

00:00:39: We have a lot to get into today.

00:00:42: This is part two of the Prince of Germany tour.

00:00:47: podcast story.

00:00:49: The best that I can remember it is that the part one ended before I was just about to go to Innsbruck in Austria.

00:00:58: So I guess that means, yeah, I spoke about the crazy people in, I think it was Frankfurt, yeah, Frankfurt, crazy people at the end, and then Cologne, Hamburg, Berlin.

00:01:11: and then so I came home and let's just you know just dive right into it because I don't know how long I can talk today.

00:01:17: so let's just get to the meat.

00:01:18: okay let's skip the appetizers going for a ribeye steak shall we?

00:01:24: oh no thanks we don't want to split a plate of nachos.

00:01:28: let's get right into the steak shall we.

00:01:31: okay well we're doing it anyway.

00:01:34: um all right.

00:01:34: so This is where things get interesting with this tour.

00:01:38: So I had yeah, I had come home.

00:01:39: I had recorded that episode part one which if you haven't heard again go listen to it and I was preparing for the latter half of the Prince of Germany stand-up comedy tour promoting my book which by the way the book itself and the audiobook that I read myself or I performed myself are in the show notes.

00:02:04: if you want to order those which if you haven't what do you do?

00:02:07: and go do that okay.

00:02:09: so when I listened back to the old episode parts of it I sounded so hopeful that I was going to do every city on the tour.

00:02:20: Well, the truth of the matter is that I had to cancel a show on this tour, which, you know, in ways did really break my heart.

00:02:29: You know, it was the biggest tour that I've ever done, especially as a solo performer.

00:02:37: And for me, there's a lot of emotional investment in the act of literally asking people to please pay money to come see me.

00:02:50: Because there's that pressure of, I want them to feel that they got their money's worth.

00:02:56: That's why I try to do the best show I can, and then also after every show, do a meet and greet with whoever wants to be there.

00:03:04: That's something that I... I hope to God I never stop doing because honestly it just makes me feel so, so happy to meet you wonderful people.

00:03:13: Um, the problem was that as I, the morning, the morning that I was going to leave for Innsbruck, bags packed, suitcase full, uh, you know, everything's ready to go.

00:03:32: It's all prepared by my front door.

00:03:36: The moment that I wake up well, let's backtrack a bit in the night in the night going into the morning of that trip I Feel this weird lump in my stomach.

00:03:51: now I am someone because I eat like a dog who stumbled across a pile of bodies in the zombie apocalypse Was basically convincing myself throughout the night that this gut This gut bump was you know, just diarrhea.

00:04:14: I've had you know bad burps and bad diarrhea and I've had food poisoning before and I've never had constipation.

00:04:27: however Having the opposite of that is also not great where it's just like Shooting out of you.

00:04:34: I remember like going to my brother's house Visiting my family.

00:04:39: I was there with like my mom was there my and my brother and and if he was there and like I was just I was Blasting out pipe like pipe to pipe mouth and butt just squirting out like like a waterslide at Disneyland and and then I'll never forget I would like blast out everything that I had and then and then pass out I had like a fever too.

00:05:07: I was just like blacking out and then vomiting and like pooping my pants and then vomiting and blacking out over and over and over.

00:05:13: so I was like I have food poisoning and I'll never forget there's this one moment Few when this happened a few years ago that I was by myself and I had this bucket And I was just like dry heaving into it.

00:05:27: I was just like, my body was trying to yak into it, but it was just dust.

00:05:32: It was just like, just nothing, but the reflex just kept happening again and again.

00:05:37: And I'll never forget sitting there with an empty bucket with like internal contortions and just saying to myself, I said it out loud because I've talked about this a lot, but when I'm alone, I talk to myself out loud.

00:05:53: But I'll never forget like sitting there and just going to myself, please, please, please stop.

00:06:01: Please just make this stop.

00:06:03: Please just stop this.

00:06:06: It was horrible.

00:06:07: It was horrible.

00:06:10: So now that we've gotten into that nice topic, let me get into why I had to cancel Innsbruck.

00:06:16: So the day that I was going to leave, right?

00:06:19: In the middle of the night, I have this weird stomach lump.

00:06:22: I think it's just diarrhea, feels weird, feels clumpy, feels uncomfortable, but I'm still able to sleep, right?

00:06:30: So I wake up that morning and that lump has not gone away.

00:06:36: It feels like I swallowed the sorcerer's stone.

00:06:41: It feels like I swallowed Dwayne the Rock Johnson's severed fist.

00:06:46: It's a clump, a clump of gunk just sitting there and it hurts and it hurts a lot dude.

00:06:54: it hurts a lot a lot a lot.

00:06:58: um and the weird thing was I've had that kind of feeling before and I go, oh, okay.

00:07:03: Well, you know, this is gonna work itself out.

00:07:05: I'm gonna have some Pepto Bismol, which for those who don't know it's kind of like this miracle medicine from the states that I always Take with me when I when I visit the states and then I come home.

00:07:17: I always take that with me.

00:07:19: So I had this pink beautiful magic, you know, heavenly liquid this Pepto Bismol.

00:07:26: I was like, okay, I'm gonna take it.

00:07:28: I'm gonna take it now And it's going to help me, you know, either have like a really, you know, terrible poo or something or it's going to, you know, whatever it's, I thought, okay, this is going to be like the solution.

00:07:40: So as I'm going to get the Pepto from the kitchen fridge, I realize, oh, this is different.

00:07:54: This is not just.

00:07:56: I've got a clunk of gunk in my trunk.

00:08:00: Thank you.

00:08:01: Appreciate that.

00:08:02: It's not just that it is something unreal.

00:08:06: It's like when you excuse me.

00:08:08: It's like when you get like a flu.

00:08:11: You know when you get like a really heavy flu and you You kind of like freezing but sweating which for me hate that combo hate that combo.

00:08:24: I it's like that you're freezing and you're sweating and No joke.

00:08:30: I know that I can be hyperbolic.

00:08:32: I know that I can be over the top.

00:08:34: This is truth.

00:08:35: I was shaking.

00:08:37: My hands were shaking so much that I couldn't hold my phone.

00:08:45: That's crazy.

00:08:46: That's new, right?

00:08:47: I dropped it.

00:08:48: I kept dropping it and that freaked me out.

00:08:53: I like went downstairs to get something.

00:08:56: I forgot what I was supposed to be doing.

00:08:58: I don't know.

00:08:58: I had to do something before I was.

00:08:59: I was like helping out with like the routines of the morning before I left for this trip and I swigged like a few big old gulps of the magic liquid and then I went to the bathroom and I was like in sweatpants and then I was wearing my full on winter jacket.

00:09:23: Full-on zipped up to the neck black puffy winter like German winter jacket.

00:09:29: trembling pale cold sweating in pain was holding my phone almost in like an attempt to distract myself from the pain like to to feel the routine of the usual morning where it's like oh I'm gonna listen to the news or whatever and Dropping it and I was like that something's off, which you know then adds fear.

00:09:52: Right then it adds like anxiety.

00:09:54: and once you've added fear and anxiety You almost can convince yourself that things are even worse than they may be even if they are bad.

00:10:06: So I was like ten layers deep in freaking the f out.

00:10:13: I've never felt that way before.

00:10:15: and So so yeah, that was that was a new.

00:10:18: that was a new level of like whoa Whoa.

00:10:21: Whoa.

00:10:21: Okay.

00:10:21: Whoa.

00:10:22: Okay.

00:10:23: So this is going on the morning, the morning pushes on and still there's a part of me that's thinking this is going to pass.

00:10:34: This is a lot.

00:10:35: Maybe I'm getting the flu and I ate something wrong and or, you know, have diarrhea, whatever.

00:10:43: I'm really trying to convince myself.

00:10:45: I can't like, I'm not.

00:10:47: I'm not able to even put down like pretzel sticks like I can't You know like nibble on as you know like German solutions for any sort of stomach pain is like Chew on these pretzel sticks and then to have some sips of Coca-Cola.

00:11:04: But I couldn't even do that.

00:11:05: It was like just sipping on water, you know like a baby.

00:11:09: That's all I could do.

00:11:11: and so If you and I kind of came up with the decision it was like okay And I also was writing my manager at the same time.

00:11:19: I was like, okay, this is what's going on.

00:11:22: I am in crucial, crucial pain.

00:11:26: Pain that I've never felt before, to an extent where I don't know, like, I'm starting to fear.

00:11:36: You know, like there's pain and you're like, oh, damn it.

00:11:39: I have this cramp.

00:11:40: that's so bad.

00:11:41: I have to go to this thing.

00:11:43: I was having the pain where you start to think about like, Have I told people I love them?

00:11:49: I know that.

00:11:49: I know that sounds dramatic, but it was pain so severe.

00:11:52: I thought something has That I you know because I had no idea if it was appendix or not.

00:11:58: Which is such a stupid organ that does nothing and then no one knows you no one even knows what it does and then you it bursts and it almost kills people and or does kill people and then you have to take it out.

00:12:10: I I was thinking like my body is shutting down now And I was so convinced that I... I was really scared.

00:12:19: I mean, I didn't talk about it with a lot of people at the time, because what's... If the plane is crashing, do you want to tell... Do you want to tell the guests on the plane?

00:12:34: Like, I mean, that's a bad example, because yes, you would want them to call their loved ones.

00:12:37: But I guess... What's a better example?

00:12:39: It's just like, if... Oh, it's like it's like in the movies where like an asteroid's hitting planet Earth and they know for a fact like they know for a fact that there's nothing that can be done and they don't Tell the public because they don't want to incite panic.

00:13:01: That was kind of the vibe.

00:13:02: I was like, I don't want to scare people that I think I'm dying.

00:13:06: Sorry, mom.

00:13:06: I know you're listening.

00:13:07: I'm still here.

00:13:08: Everything's okay.

00:13:09: It but I had a lot of fear.

00:13:11: I had a lot of fear.

00:13:12: I thought.

00:13:12: I thought like my organs were shutting down because it was so painful.

00:13:17: It was the most okay.

00:13:19: It was let's just put everything on the table.

00:13:20: It was the most pain I've ever had in my life and I snapped my ankle.

00:13:28: I snapped it.

00:13:30: I I have ridden a bike and like fallen over the handlebars and like split my chin open.

00:13:37: This was just different on such like a gargantuan level.

00:13:45: It was something.

00:13:46: it was something where I would in this moment make a joke normally about like childbirth.

00:13:52: I'm not that kind of like a hole.

00:13:54: I wouldn't I'm not going to do that.

00:13:55: But like it was that would be like the level of that.

00:13:59: of pain that I've never experienced that before.

00:14:02: It was very, very, very, very painful.

00:14:07: So I kind of make a decision like, okay, something's wrong here.

00:14:10: Maybe I'm sick with like something I ate or something's not going through my body the way that I thought it would.

00:14:17: So I'm going to cancel my train to Innsbruck.

00:14:21: But being the showman that I am, I wasn't going to cancel the show just yet.

00:14:27: I was like, I'm gonna, uh, you know, there was like a new plan.

00:14:32: I was like, okay.

00:14:33: So in Spokes, not that far away from Munich.

00:14:36: So I thought if I'm going to cancel the train that I had planned and instead stick this out as long as I can until one of two things happens, either one, I'm going to have to go to the hospital or two, because I wanted to go to the hospital in Munich for sure.

00:14:55: Or two, I'm going to, uh, it's going to pass and I'm, and I'm going to be able to drive to, to Innsbruck.

00:15:01: So I kept the like plan B of maybe this is going to work out in my pocket.

00:15:06: Um, so I then, um, as the morning progressed, went upstairs, uh, back to my bedroom, lights off, uh, tried to kind of watch slash listen to YouTube videos.

00:15:21: Um, but the pain was so severe.

00:15:24: I. was like borderline I to be fair I am very certain now in hindsight that I had a boiling fever because that is the most and I'm a big guy who sweats a lot.

00:15:39: if I think about sweat I'm gonna sweat.

00:15:42: this was the most I've ever sweat in my entire life even when I was doing sports like.

00:15:48: I'm very sure I had a fever because I was there in this bed just gushing sweat almost as if it was like I don't know like when you squeeze like a like a children's candy that has like a little lick like a gushers like the sweet like.

00:16:04: I was just like spewing sweat spewing it like I. I washed So many things after that day But I was yeah, I was just like gushing sweat like I was a river and Blacking out honest like honest to God.

00:16:21: blacking out like Being awake for a second and then realizing like watching the screen kind of hurt my eyes even though it was a like a pitch black room With a dimmed down screen and then like kind of listening to it.

00:16:33: But then also like the pain was just the pain right.

00:16:36: so at the end of the day it was like the pain was so overwhelming and so Dominant that I wasn't even I almost hated that I even tried to do anything else to distract myself because it was like my body literally being Mike Tyson and biting my ear off.

00:16:55: But in my guts, you know, it was terrible so terrible And I haven't really spoken about.

00:17:01: I mean if you know, but I haven't really spoken about how detrimental and Traumatizing I mean that's a very intense word.

00:17:12: I know but how yeah, but I mean that's the word to use right.

00:17:14: so I haven't really spoken about how Traumatizing the pain was.

00:17:18: it was really something else.

00:17:19: It was really like out of this world.

00:17:22: So I'm there.

00:17:22: I'm blacking out with fever for sure With soaked in sweat like an entire mattress soaked in sweat.

00:17:31: all my clothes Everything everything down to my socks soaked in sweat And then there's there comes a moment where it's like, okay, I can't do the show.

00:17:43: I've already spoken to my booking agent Fenya, who is one of the nicest people on planet Earth.

00:17:48: I told her what's going on.

00:17:50: She said she had already prepped the venue that I won't be able to make it that they were absolutely okay with it.

00:17:57: because well, you know, good people, smart people, it's okay.

00:18:01: You're sick.

00:18:01: You're sick.

00:18:02: You know, it's not America where it's like, you're sick.

00:18:04: Hey, toughen up, pussy.

00:18:06: Here it's like, oh my god, take care of yourself, you know?

00:18:09: Everyone got their money back, you know?

00:18:11: It was the, thankfully, just business-wise, it was the show that had the least amount of sold tickets.

00:18:20: So, I mean, this is a shallow way to look at it, but it's just like, at least it was that one, you know?

00:18:25: Because it was like a city where we were trying to build an audience, you know?

00:18:33: As opposed to like.

00:18:34: if Munich, you know had been cancelled I would have really oh I think I would have cried man, but um, I'm gonna get to that.

00:18:41: so anyway There I just I decided okay in spooks not gonna happen and I have trouble standing up Literally not able to stand up out of the bed.

00:18:58: the pain is so severe that I am clenching.

00:19:02: I'm clenching my guts as if I'm like some guy, you know, pretending to have like C four strapped to himself in like the New York subway or something.

00:19:14: Like I, I am not good in this moment.

00:19:19: So it's time, right?

00:19:20: So, uh, if he had offered much earlier in the day, like I couldn't drive you there, but now I had waited so long thinking it would pass it would pass it would pass it would pass, which is.

00:19:31: which that was very dumb of me.

00:19:35: But you know, you live and you learn.

00:19:37: Now it was a moment where she couldn't drive me.

00:19:41: So now it was like, okay, I need to take a taxi.

00:19:43: So I am full on borderline convulsing with pain.

00:19:49: I order a taxi, it shows up, and I sit in the back.

00:19:56: I am literally, I mean, I'm not even joking, soaked in sweat.

00:20:01: Soaked and sweat I mean and the guy was the guy who drove me was kind of cool because he just kind of let me with like the cracked backseat window to sort of like breathe and Try to.

00:20:13: you know, try to.

00:20:15: I didn't even listen to music or anything.

00:20:17: I was just like looking at the window like I. You can't believe.

00:20:23: you can't believe how how insane this was.

00:20:27: so he takes me to the hospital Puts me right in front of the door and then so funny funny side story.

00:20:34: he Asks me if I should go if he should drop me because there's like two doors.

00:20:38: He's like should I take you to the emergency?

00:20:41: like emergency immediate like door or to the standard door and my overly kind dumbass was like I guess The normal door.

00:20:55: Stupid bad idea.

00:20:58: I go to the.

00:20:59: he leaves.

00:21:01: I go to the main door.

00:21:02: There's a guy like rearranging wheelchairs because no one goes in there and he's bored.

00:21:07: He's like the kind of shooting at husband.

00:21:09: He's like, how can I help you?

00:21:11: and Then I'm there clenching for God and I'm like I I'm not.

00:21:17: I swear to you.

00:21:18: I swear to you.

00:21:19: I said it feels like my stomach exploded inside me.

00:21:25: can't Emphasize how true that is.

00:21:28: Cannot emphasize how true that is.

00:21:30: I would put that on my life.

00:21:33: That's so true.

00:21:34: And then he looks me up and down and he goes, oh, you need to go to the other door.

00:21:39: It's so this way and then you take a right.

00:21:42: I was like, just kill me.

00:21:48: So German to be like, well, that does not meet our quite serious.

00:21:53: So here is where you should be going.

00:21:57: So I then like stumble and cough and you know, whatever all the way over to the other.

00:22:05: It wasn't that far but like you know around this corner to the hospital to the emergency section I mean so I go in.

00:22:10: this is where it's crazy.

00:22:12: I go in there.

00:22:13: There are three what look to be like death row patients like You know lifeline call your children tell them that you wish you'd been better.

00:22:25: sort of patients like in their eighties or nineties.

00:22:28: Yeah, or maybe hundreds maybe three hundreds.

00:22:32: they look old right.

00:22:34: they're there on these beds that you know.

00:22:35: like you know when you're old You're on a bed that beeps.

00:22:40: You know there's these guys who like there's these.

00:22:42: it was like three people in a row.

00:22:44: That's on a bed that looks like R to D to right.

00:22:47: there's the beds that like have bags and like machines and like under it There's like a whole like Tesla and and shit.

00:22:54: and it's just like And it's like wow I don't care I'm dying.

00:23:10: So I've been in this entrance before, which is not a fun thing to, you know, going to a bar and being like, I've been here so many times, this place rocks.

00:23:21: Never been said for a hospital.

00:23:25: Never been said for like, you know, this emergency, I'm dying door that people usually go in when they've been, have their next slits opened by burglars.

00:23:36: Been here a few times.

00:23:37: Martha over there.

00:23:38: So nice.

00:23:39: She has the best jokes.

00:23:43: I am going into this place hunched over like a Dude, I don't know.

00:23:48: I I I do not look good.

00:23:51: clearly the nicest Paramedic paramedic right medic pair.

00:24:00: I'm so sorry.

00:24:00: Yeah, I don't care.

00:24:01: Whatever.

00:24:02: You know what I mean?

00:24:03: So the nicest Yeah, like like.

00:24:09: Damn it not EMT EMT emergency medical paramedic.

00:24:15: What the people in the ambulance?

00:24:17: I think I'm right, but I'm just overthinking it.

00:24:20: I Was looking so severe as if I just walked out of a swimming pool and Was also a ghost who had swallowed a bowling ball made of volcanic lava, right?

00:24:36: That's a good picture for you.

00:24:38: I look like such garbage that this paramedic who is with a man on the Tesla bed looks at me and in German is like, can I, can I help you?

00:24:53: And then I told her in English, because I was so exhausted and in so much pain.

00:24:57: Imagine, again, imagine crossed arms, hunched over, like a Danny DeVito who got into an argument with his wife.

00:25:04: Like I'm really like, barely able to think or talk.

00:25:09: I tell them, sorry, I have to do this in English.

00:25:14: It feels like my stomach exploded.

00:25:17: And then I told them because I thought it might be connected to the appendix, right?

00:25:21: Because I did have pain there.

00:25:22: And I was like, I think my appendix burst, which by the way, if that does burst, you have like, fourteen hours before you die, right?

00:25:33: So I was in tremendous pain.

00:25:35: And again, at this point, breathing so intensely, like I was not, now that I was there and like my brain was certain of the fact that I was in the hospital, like the comfort of like needing like the distraction part of your brain that's like, I need to guide the taxi, I need to know where to go.

00:25:55: That is gone, right?

00:25:57: So then the pain and the physicality of the moment, the intensity just takes over.

00:26:02: And then I was, I mean, it was just unreal.

00:26:05: So I'm there, the paramedic leaves Mr.

00:26:07: Tesla body, beat, beat guy.

00:26:09: And then comes over to me and puts me in a wheelchair and then very kindly takes my insurance card out of my pocket and handles the registration for me because I can't breathe or talk.

00:26:24: And that was, how cool is that?

00:26:27: How cool is that?

00:26:29: I mean, shout out to her, whoever you are.

00:26:32: You're a miracle worker.

00:26:34: I'm so, so grateful for you.

00:26:36: She was so, that just meant everything to me.

00:26:38: I didn't have to do anything.

00:26:40: She asked me my name.

00:26:41: She got my insurance card.

00:26:43: She went to the woman at the front desk, like right there at the emergency entrance, handled it, swiped the card, boom.

00:26:51: By the way, I stayed overnight in this hospital.

00:26:54: So you're looking at like nearly forty eight hours in this hospital.

00:26:57: I think in total out of pocket, I'm paying like twenty bucks.

00:27:01: maybe fifteen bucks.

00:27:03: so look a little deeper at universal health care anyway.

00:27:10: so that's besides the point all right.

00:27:13: so uh they do that they reel me uh roll me into a room and then i'm in such severe pain that i am like almost choking on my breath.

00:27:25: i'm really like.

00:27:28: And this guy comes in, this doctor, he comes in, he puts a needle in my arm with some pain medication.

00:27:34: And then he tells me, he goes, hey, well, I mean, I'm saying it like an American, but he's German.

00:27:38: He goes, Hey, man, you're hyperventilating yourself.

00:27:44: Like your, your breathing is so erratic that you're going to make yourself faint.

00:27:52: And that was a bit of like a wake up call.

00:27:54: Like I need, I need to slow this down.

00:27:57: And he kind of like sat there with me for a minute like helped me sort of breathe a bit slower and then the medicine kicked in and I passed out.

00:28:07: I passed out.

00:28:08: I mean, it felt like six days, but I was probably out for like forty five minutes or an hour.

00:28:13: I don't know.

00:28:13: I think it was about an hour actually.

00:28:15: And then this young doctor came in and like tapped me on the shoulder.

00:28:18: and this young guy came in, tapped me.

00:28:21: He was my doctor for the rest of the time, tapped me.

00:28:23: and then I saw him and my first thing I was like, I'm sorry.

00:28:28: And he was like it's it's okay You're alright But I was just so.

00:28:36: I mean I was just so in my head man.

00:28:37: It was really crazy.

00:28:38: anyway I was gonna say long story short, but now it's already been like a half an hour long story.

00:28:44: basically I went there and from that moment from that moment on had several ultrasounds on my Appendix.

00:28:55: they said they weren't comfortable letting me go home.

00:28:59: So I had to sleep overnight Which sucked so much.

00:29:08: Hospital food sucks already like it's just such dog garbage filth basically like I think a homeless person would look at the food they have in hospitals and just be like Brother, I'm good.

00:29:22: I'm gonna eat Like I'm good.

00:29:24: I'm fine.

00:29:25: There's like a peach tree right over there.

00:29:27: There's a lot of like fruit trees around the river.

00:29:29: I'm I'm good, you know There's.

00:29:32: the food is so horrendous and It's just like the Munich hospitals are like such such fuel for future content because it's very old.

00:29:44: like every room.

00:29:45: every room you can tell was originally a white room that has been stained eggshell into yellow because it's so old that doctors used to smoke while they told you that you've developed lung cancer.

00:30:00: like the rooms are just like so icky.

00:30:03: it's like a ryan murphy american horror story hospital.

00:30:07: it's it's garbage.

00:30:08: you go in there.

00:30:09: it's just like you know like an old boat siren of filth and This would be great for the Americans listening.

00:30:18: You know Germans they don't.

00:30:21: They don't put TVs in there.

00:30:23: There ain't.

00:30:23: no there ain't no entertainment in there.

00:30:26: That's why I was so thankful to God that I had my phone and I was you know if you brought a charger and I was able to just like.

00:30:38: I mean, honestly, I just sat there and watched episode after episode of Dexter.

00:30:42: Man, Dexter's awesome.

00:30:43: Those first like five seasons are so good.

00:30:46: So I was just there like laying in a bed with tons, like needles in both arms.

00:30:51: Like it was so uncomfortable.

00:30:54: People saying they don't know what's happening to me, which was scary.

00:30:58: But then like laying next to a man who, one hundred percent was the inspiration of the character death.

00:31:05: In the movie The Seventh Seal, dude.

00:31:08: He was just this man.

00:31:09: He was probably like a ghost who hadn't passed on from his like mortal physical body yet.

00:31:18: Like, dude, you can't be a ghost yet.

00:31:20: You're still a man.

00:31:21: And he was like, no, I'm... He was so old, dude.

00:31:24: He... Ugh.

00:31:27: God.

00:31:28: And it was horrible, it was horrible sleep.

00:31:29: You know, it's a whole night long.

00:31:31: You're there with this old man who calls the nurse every like thirty minutes.

00:31:34: I mean, it's not his fault.

00:31:35: Like, I'm glad that he had help.

00:31:37: You know, I hope he's okay.

00:31:39: Um in the afterlife, but but like he had to call the nurse like every thirty minutes someone to come help him pee Or whatever and he's the kind of guy who doesn't understand whispering You know, so there's this Bavarian thing.

00:31:51: I I almost put this in my recent show, but I didn't.

00:31:54: I don't know if I mentioned it in the book or not But there's this Bavarian thing of like this.

00:31:58: There's this German thing that I don't like where it's like, okay I'm American I sound loud if I sound loud right now and I'm alone, but imagine If you're next to someone in a room and it's after ten thirty at night or eleven at night, you're kind of like this.

00:32:19: Sorry.

00:32:20: And this guy, the thing would ring, the bell would ring, and then the nurse would come in full blast fluorescent office lighting, which is just like, hey, I don't care what happened to me.

00:32:32: Do you have a gun I can put in my mouth?

00:32:35: This is terrible.

00:32:36: Sorry, mom.

00:32:36: Just a joke.

00:32:37: But then it's just like.

00:32:40: That was already a bad problem, and then you'd have this guy and it's deaf him being like yeah, sorry I need some help.

00:32:46: to the toilet.

00:32:47: he would be like this.

00:32:58: I hope that registers properly on the.

00:33:00: on the recording it was so shitty like I. I hated him even though I was like oh I hope he's okay.

00:33:09: and then I was like let let the let the let the angels take you.

00:33:17: go into the light follow the light old man let the angels take you.

00:33:28: you are forgiven it's terrible dude.

00:33:32: and then next to him oddly enough was a guy about my age whose appendix had burst And he was in the worst conditions.

00:33:44: I felt really bad for him.

00:33:45: I had to chat with him like an app like.

00:33:48: finally like an hour before I left the hospital the next day We finally decided to talk to each other.

00:33:54: I mean, it's you know, it's really awkward, but then they They rolled the old man out.

00:33:59: I guess I don't know if they just like rolled him off a bridge or if they put him in the morgue I don't know.

00:34:05: Maybe they just like They just took the guy out and he was asleep so much.

00:34:11: I was just like, is that it?

00:34:13: Is he gone now?

00:34:15: I have no idea.

00:34:17: But then the young guy and I started talking as I was basically figuring out that I was probably gonna be let go and His appendix had burst.

00:34:25: and the dude the poor guy, you know, it's like early thirties and he had this catheter and like a you know Colostomy bag and he was.

00:34:35: he moved around so slow and could barely walk and I was like, dude, I'm so glad that didn't happen to me.

00:34:41: So basically long story short they kept me overnight.

00:34:45: I saw father time and Colostomy bag, you know doing what they got to do overnight.

00:34:51: Next day the doctor comes in.

00:34:53: He's like, yo And by the way this entire time I was not allowed to eat And I was only allowed to barely drink some water.

00:35:03: So I was starving.

00:35:08: I was freaking out.

00:35:09: I was so hungry, man.

00:35:10: I could have, like, I almost ate the old man.

00:35:12: It was really, it was something else.

00:35:13: I almost opened up that dude's colostomy bag and was just like, what'd you have earlier?

00:35:16: Spinach?

00:35:17: All right, let's check it out.

00:35:18: Um, this is getting gross.

00:35:19: Sorry.

00:35:20: Uh, so the doctor came in and was like, we don't know.

00:35:24: Cause the pain was gone.

00:35:25: The thing was the pain was gone.

00:35:27: And he was like, we don't know.

00:35:29: We don't know.

00:35:29: And I was like, well, I appreciate the honesty.

00:35:34: You know I'm not gonna go into details, but you know our good friend Moritz had been to this hotel.

00:35:40: I keep saying hotel good Lord My you know a good friend of the show personal friend of mine Moritz had you know been to this hospital and reassured me that it's very very good doctors.

00:35:53: and Yeah, I was just like I was like okay.

00:35:57: They don't know.

00:35:58: well That's okay.

00:36:00: I mean that's okay.

00:36:01: you know if it's very very good doctors and they just don't know.

00:36:06: i'm not gonna get mad or something.

00:36:08: you know what i mean i'm like.

00:36:11: i'm not gonna i don't.

00:36:14: i like.

00:36:14: i'm when i when like the thing is also like whether without having had a friend who was there before to reassure me that these are good doctors i got the vibe that they're good doctors.

00:36:26: and i don't.

00:36:27: it does not scare me when a good doctor Tells me that they just can't really figure out what's going on.

00:36:35: that doesn't scare me.

00:36:37: you know if I mean if I was like Sorry mom, but like if I was like shitting blood or like you know the the girl from the Exorcist crawled out of one of my eye sockets.

00:36:49: I'd be like what do you mean?

00:36:50: You don't know help me, but the fact of the matter is that after the first day I didn't have pain anymore.

00:36:59: So I didn't know either.

00:37:00: And I was like, look, they're trying everything.

00:37:03: They tested my liver enzymes.

00:37:05: They tested my gallbladder.

00:37:08: They tested my appendix.

00:37:10: They did like four ultrasounds, you know?

00:37:14: And they were just like really, really, really nice doctors.

00:37:17: And you could tell that they really cared.

00:37:19: They really cared.

00:37:20: I don't like the rhythm of a hospital.

00:37:24: But first off, I hate hospitals because it sucks.

00:37:30: That's a different story, but like I don't get how people like like you must have this like deep-rooted Passionate for being a doctor or a nurse where you're like either one.

00:37:41: I Need to help people.

00:37:43: that is my driven sole purpose.

00:37:46: or you have the thing of like money's good and I get it.

00:37:50: Either way.

00:37:51: you're in this hyper like boy like this terrible ugly fluorescent lit building where like regularly and I'm talking about I was there for an overnight stay.

00:38:04: I saw at least five people over the age of eighty eight who were rolled through a hallway just moaning and you're just around that all the time just some guy just going down like just take my life doc.

00:38:31: now I believe in euthanasia.

00:38:33: just let me go Like I could not work in those situations.

00:38:38: So God bless the doctors and the nurses out there.

00:38:42: because I mean wow Don't know where I got lost on the track there, but basically I yeah, I had to stay overnight.

00:38:50: It was really tough.

00:38:51: It was really annoying.

00:38:53: I Had to miss the show.

00:38:54: Oh, yeah, because they didn't know what was wrong and I mean I didn't know either and I didn't have any pain.

00:39:00: So I kept talking to this younger doctor who was really cool.

00:39:03: actually Um, he was almost a little too cool.

00:39:06: You know, when the doctor's a little too cool, you almost wonder like, are they taking this seriously?

00:39:10: But I don't have to worry about that in Germany.

00:39:13: You know, he would be cool and then he would just switch on a dime.

00:39:16: You know, I would talk to him.

00:39:17: He'd be like, so what are you doing for a living?

00:39:20: I mean, by the way, he's like my age or younger.

00:39:22: He's probably like, thirty.

00:39:23: I'm like, what are you doing for a living?

00:39:25: Yeah, well, I'm a comedian and the thing is I'm on this tour right now.

00:39:28: So I was traveling around a lot.

00:39:30: I don't know if that had like an effect on, you know, my my digestive system or like, you know, the lack of exercise I've had recently, maybe I'm been drinking too much, but I'm sitting on these trains a lot and then performing.

00:39:41: And then, yeah, but the thing is I had to cancel a show because of yesterday.

00:39:45: I was here for the.

00:39:46: I was going to go to Innsbruck for the show.

00:39:48: But tomorrow, which was the Munich shows, tomorrow I have this double show in Munich and it's going to be filmed.

00:39:53: is it's like It's gonna be like this big special.

00:39:57: Oh, wow.

00:39:58: That's a yeah, that's that's cool Yeah, really nice school.

00:40:02: and then and then he would immediately switch into doctor like okay, so Give your arm here.

00:40:07: I'm going to take this out and then and I was like wow.

00:40:10: I that's just like a different Brain rhythm from me like I would be the worst person in a very serious job like lawyer doctor scientist astronaut because even if oh like a trauma surgeon oh my god i would be the worst because i'm always me.

00:40:33: but there are moments i can read that it's time to shut it off but i'm still like it's almost like i'm putting on a face to be serious because under it i mean unless it's like affecting me or my family and then you know we're all humans like there's still moments where like you cry you're it's heavy.

00:40:50: but like Most of the time in a work situation, I have to be told, all right, all right, all right, let's focus up.

00:40:55: Let's get into it.

00:40:56: And then I snap out.

00:40:58: But if I was a doctor, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, of course.

00:41:01: Yeah.

00:41:02: Hey man, nice dude.

00:41:03: Yeah, absolutely.

00:41:05: Hey, how'd you, cool.

00:41:07: Yeah.

00:41:07: So it is stage four that we're looking at here.

00:41:09: You know, I'd be a terrible person to take seriously in that situation.

00:41:16: But anyway, he was cool.

00:41:19: Long story.

00:41:19: Sorry.

00:41:20: So anyway, it's my podcast.

00:41:21: I'm not sorry.

00:41:22: You're listening.

00:41:23: It's your fault.

00:41:25: They basically on the second day told me they don't really have a great solution.

00:41:31: The best I got was from the second ultrasound specialist who told me that most likely it was a flare up of appendicitis, but it can go down.

00:41:43: The flare can deflare.

00:41:46: So I had no pain.

00:41:48: Actually, I had no pain at all after that.

00:41:52: on the second day.

00:41:54: And they didn't have to perform a surgery.

00:41:57: And I just basically said like, hey, we're gonna let you go.

00:42:00: Okay, we're gonna, we're gonna give you some paperwork and you can just go.

00:42:03: and then I said, can I eat?

00:42:04: And they were like, yeah, yeah, you can eat.

00:42:06: Just don't, you know, maybe don't like, you know, eat like a schnitzel and so and so and so and so.

00:42:11: And I was like, um, I think I know a little more than you.

00:42:16: I was like, did you know that I have my own hot sauce?

00:42:20: I'm gonna go home.

00:42:22: and douse a fully uncooked living chicken in the last dab, the hottest sauce on hot ones.

00:42:34: I'm gonna drown a chicken in a vat of the last dab.

00:42:40: And then once it's been like sauteed and like, and like, once it's like sauteed, once it's been like marinated long enough, I'm gonna eat it raw.

00:42:53: And then once it's in my tummy, that raw chicken, then I'm gonna put myself in the air fryer.

00:43:00: And then we're gonna see if my calculations are correct.

00:43:05: Sir, quote unquote, doctor.

00:43:09: And he was like, I think we should move you to a mental hospital.

00:43:12: And I was like, nice try, those don't exist.

00:43:18: Anyway, that's all jokes, but he was really cool.

00:43:20: They let me go and then yeah, so rest of the tour.

00:43:23: Wow, this was like such a long story about one thing.

00:43:26: forty three minutes my god I basically I got to go home and then very briefly I the next day dude the next day I did my double show in Munich.

00:43:42: So I did film it.

00:43:44: You will be notified and you will be informed when the big next special comes out or when it's coming out.

00:43:54: My plan is by Christmas.

00:43:56: I'd love for it to be out by Christmas because people will be home with their families, hanging out, watching videos.

00:44:02: So be a good time to just have something sweet and fun and cool to put out into the world.

00:44:07: Um, it was at the vex even, uh, work seven here in Munich, um, both shows were just like.

00:44:14: the first one was completely full.

00:44:15: I think it was about six, fifty.

00:44:17: Um, plus the crew and staff and cameras.

00:44:20: And then the next one was maybe like six, twenty five.

00:44:23: So it was just about thirteen hundred.

00:44:25: It was right, it was like right on the edge.

00:44:27: Um, and it was just wonderful.

00:44:29: Um, ARD, uh, which is for the Americans, it's like NBC or CBS or ABC, very big, like, you know, network channel.

00:44:37: they have a thing that's a bit like sixty minutes but but literally shorter like.

00:44:44: it's not sixty minutes it's like five but they do segments they'll cover it'll be like sixty minutes.

00:44:50: if they just did like five minutes on all these different topics and they did a piece on me which is really cool.

00:44:58: um and the only reason I haven't sent it to family and friends back home is because I'm trying to basically make it where I can put English subtitles because obviously they dub my voice in German and the interviewer asks, you know, in German, whatever.

00:45:17: So that's the only thing is like, it's cool.

00:45:19: It's a really nice interview and it shows like, you know, my connection to Munich and this whole tour and the book, it promotes the book.

00:45:26: But it's all in German.

00:45:27: So I'm working on getting like a version of it that people back in the States or non-German speakers can can see.

00:45:35: They did that.

00:45:37: I did the show.

00:45:38: It was back to back.

00:45:39: It was a five-thirty show.

00:45:40: Then it was a nine-thirty show.

00:45:42: I think the nine-thirty show was even stronger.

00:45:45: I liked the early show.

00:45:47: I felt really comfortable.

00:45:48: But of course, if you do one thing like back to back usually the next one's going to be smoother because it's, you know, you're warmed up.

00:45:58: So I loved that.

00:46:00: And then I had a day off and then went to, yeah, then the last one was.

00:46:06: I went to Zurich.

00:46:07: Zurich, you know, I was a bit hesitant, not, not like I would cancel it or something, but I was a bit hesitant about like wondering what those people would be like in Switzerland.

00:46:18: Hey guys, as you can probably tell, I had to break up the audio here.

00:46:24: So right now you're hearing me on my AirPod audio.

00:46:29: I hope that I've mixed it well enough so that it doesn't bother you.

00:46:32: But just to finish up that thought, yes, Switzerland, I was hesitant.

00:46:38: I was not sure what to expect.

00:46:42: But it was a really great show, a great team, a beautiful venue.

00:46:48: Really fun, really cool.

00:46:50: Again, just a really nice meet and greet section or like a nice button on the entire tour at the end.

00:46:59: And I'm so grateful to everybody who worked at every venue, every sound guy or gal, every person who ran the lights.

00:47:11: I'm grateful to particularly also everybody.

00:47:17: who was assigned from a local bookstore to, you know, handle the sales of books.

00:47:25: Anyway, all that aside, I am just so extraordinarily grateful for the entire experience.

00:47:32: And I, as of this release, I have a birthday tomorrow.

00:47:40: On the fourteenth this should come out the thirteenth.

00:47:43: So I have a birthday tomorrow and I'm gonna be for the first time ever in Paris You know as a as a gift from like last Christmas.

00:47:56: But it's working out now and Again, if you can speak German, please be sure to go to the show notes and or to my link tree, which is also in the show notes and check out my ADR, my A-D-E-R-B-R-E-S-A-B-R-E-S-A-N-P.

00:48:16: My Breson is my special.

00:48:18: It's my section starts at the twenty-six minute mark, just after they do a section on Jamie Oliver, which is pretty cool.

00:48:26: And otherwise, yes, I will be preparing the live, the edit of my live show for this tour for those who weren't able to make it, you know, those in different countries and so on.

00:48:37: I'm going to meet up with the editor next week and get things rolling.

00:48:40: I'm also expanding my YouTube channel.

00:48:44: I'm working with a different friend to maybe, you know, make larger, longer, more like engaging fun content.

00:48:55: So you could, you know, potentially sit down and watch like a ten to fifteen, maybe twenty minute video.

00:49:06: of just more engaging content.

00:49:08: Anyway, I'm sorry.

00:49:09: I'm rambling.

00:49:09: It's been a long week.

00:49:10: I'm tired.

00:49:12: That's why the audience is changing.

00:49:16: And that's why things are a bit chaotic right now.

00:49:18: Look, guys, I love you.

00:49:20: I miss you.

00:49:21: Thank you so much.

00:49:23: Everyone that came to any of the shows, anyone who clicks any of the links in my show notes, don't forget.

00:49:31: I do have a hot sauce if you have not tried it.

00:49:35: The Jordan Prince socks are through my website and you can get my book or the audiobook which I read myself in the show notes.

00:49:46: Love you guys and have a great day and let's talk soon.

00:49:51: All right, I'm gonna stop now.

00:49:53: Bye-bye.

00:50:09: RZFarxy Immigrants, a podcast by John Prince and Moritz Badscheider, produced for M.